Black Fathers in America

How can you expect me to RESPECT you if you don't respect your self or ME??

In America, especially in the Black community, the title "FATHER" is one that stirs up many mixed emotions. For me, its one that stirs up many mixed emotions. The dictionary defines "Father" as follows:

father
man who is parent: a man who is the parent of a human being, or a male animal that has produced offspring

Ok, now lets define parenting
Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.

Ok, now from what I'm noticing with my relationship with my father is that he only holds up the title as such. Literally, the title. No substance behind it.

The thing that baffles me is that with this title he feels he is automatically deserved respect, doesn't have to work for it, doesn't have to show it in return, but just because he has this title, as his children we are SUPPOSED to respect him.

that shit doesn't fly with me. if you want my respect, your going to have to earn it. No matter WHO you are. His parenting skills are in the negative. He does not uplift me. he does not support me. he does not enhance my intellectual development. so where does this leave him? Standing on the same island with all the other dead beat "fathers" because they must be on an island somewhere sipping on champagne because they have no responsibilities to worry about.

And unlike alot of Black children in my community, my father LIVES with me. My parents are still married, have been married for almost 24 years. How could he even have the CHANCE to be a deadbeat, you ask? well, he is not a bread winner. My mother is. He sleeps in the bed all day while my mother works. He complains when dinner isn't ready and walks around with this false sense of accomplishment when in fact he hasn't done anything. maybe its the drunken confidence that many people have while walking around in a drunken stupor. Maybe its his glorious past that he holds on to for dear life that keeps him going every day and gives him reason to open his eyes in the morning. Maybe its his "intimidating" stance that he feels makes him "man" enough..because his repertoire is one that a 5 year old can easily babble.

Whatever it is that keeps him going, I hope he has a jar full of it.

Im so sick of getting into arguments with him...its just a waste of energy. Im tired of hearing his voice every morning...its so loud and obnoxious. Im tired of not being able to enjoy my summer vacation because he is here, walking around acting as if he is made from pure gold.

What is it, Black dead beat fathers? Why do you want respect from your children when you haven't done anything for us? and in my case, sure, there were good times..but im sure everyone has heard about the good outweighing the bad?

well this is the opposite.